"Jimmie Johnson & Chad Knaus & Mike Helton's Gay Sex Affair"
How can someone, a team, or whatever you call Jimmie Johnson, win this many titles in a row? Well, the answer is simple... Every Wednesday night at Mike Helton's house (President of NASCAR), Jimmie and his crew chief, Chad Knaus get dressed up in Helton's weekly choice of dress and they engage in a horribly lubed up, sweaty, gay sex fun time...
As one witness reported to me last week, Jimmie dressed up as Wilma Flinstone and Chad Knaus was Betty Rubble... It was a pretty hardcore scene, where Mr. Helton was Mr. Slate and inserted his granite in both Mrs. Flinstone and Mrs. Rubble on SEVERAL occassions... Each orgasm he would chant... YABBA DABBA WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!
I guess we know the reason Dale Jr. never wins... He isn't gay... Or maybe he is... And he just does things with the wrong guys???
Maybe all of NASCAR is gay? I mean, who else would want to run REALLY close with other men in TIGHT situations, sometimes rubbing and touching the other men, while going 180mph... Sounds sort of homo-erotic to me...
So, let us all celebrate Jimmie Johnson and Chad Knaus... Sexing their way to a 69th straight championship. I guess Lowe's gives them all incredible hardware.... Enjoy this season NASCAR fans... Enjoy a lame ass season that will only prove my point...
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I think you did this one especially to get a rise outta me? ;-)
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